Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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