k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize