I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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