then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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