All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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