i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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