omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize