using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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