As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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