he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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