I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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