i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize