I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize