Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize