her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize