The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize