I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize