I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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