the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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