you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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