I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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