If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think a kid would responsible me up
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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