you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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