Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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