420 ftw
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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