I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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