Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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