Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize