Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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