first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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