i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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