btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize