I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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