Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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