I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize