Kiss
Puke
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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