That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize