i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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