is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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