so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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