The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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