She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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