it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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