I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize