Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize