Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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