I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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