It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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