Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize