I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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